Bud's Poetry By Category: Humor

Humor

Humor truly is the best medicine for everyone. Where would we be without something to laugh at. Every now and then, I get a little crazy and like to be funny in my poems. It lightens up the mood, and everyone can laugh and smile at them. Here are some of my humorous poems I have added to this set.

A Country Song (2021)

A Man From Mars (2005)

A People About A Poem (2022)

A Place To Pee (2021)

A Poem About Nothing (2016)

A Wicked Soul (2006)

Achoo! (2012)

Allergic To Myself (2001)

Animal Quackers (2007)

Astute As A Fruit (2002)

Baby Shower (2003)

Bafflegab (2024)

Blurp (2003)

Bump On My Bum (2016)

Butter On My Bread (2004)

Death (2005)

Erimel (2004)

Everyone's Out For Money (2014)

Eyeball Erasers (2004)

Facebook Drama (2017)

Gee, I Wonder (2001)

Golden Rod (2018)

Hairy Belly Button (2002)

I Can Make You Laugh (2004)

I Got A Call From Me (2014)

I Have Sinned, And I Loved It! (2022)

I Lost My Marbles (2002)

I Married A Baby (2005)

A Received A Call (2019)

I Should Marry Me (2004)

If I Were (2016)

I'm In Love With The Squirrel (2004)

In The Time Stream (2022)

Johnny E-Mail (2003)

Like An Eggshell (2017)

Listening To A Country Song (2021)

Maybe I'm Dreaming (2005)

Nose Ring (2022)

Passing Gas (2009)

Phlegmboyant (2019)

Pills (2013)

Popsicle Toes (2002)

Rainbow Eyes (2021)

Say Achoo (2020)

Snafu (2004)

Sour Turkey (2013/2014)

Speshal Okaysion (2013)

Tennis Elbow (2018)

The Bugaboo (2003)

The Day I Shrunk (2004)

The Sandwitch (2004)

The Sty (2006)

The Who Flung Flu (2005)

Those Moving Planets (2014)

Tight As A Drum (2004)

Unfinished Poem (2004)

Waiting For Love (2001)

What I See (2005)

Within Myself Is Me (2001)

You Can't Get There From Here (2004)

A Country Song

Sing along with me to a country song

Where everything in it, goes totally wrong

I'm sitting here at a bar, drinking a beer

My baby left me, that's why I came here

My dog was shot, and now he is dead

I sprung a leak, in my water bed

Just when I thought, things couldn't get worse

I forget all the words, to the very next verse

She said I cheated on her, but that isn't true

I truly believe she went really Koo Koo

She said she saw me, making love to her best friend

I was building a scarecrow, it's an old family trend

I don't know what she saw, but I tell you true

I did nothing wrong, I just wish I knew

She said I wasn't the man, she married years ago

We never married at all! And she called me Joe!

Dang it anyway! What can I say.

She never loved me anyway!

I could shoot a hole, in my cowboy hat

Next woman I love, better have a cat

Just a little song I put together in my mind

from all the country songs I've heard. When

things go wrong, cheating, your lover leaves you,

and your dog gets shot. And so much more. Never

tried this style, so here it is.

A Man From Mars

It was a day I called a man from Mars

I asked him if Martians drove cars

He asked me if the birds could fly

I said they do and asked him why

He said their cars have wings and fly

They're often seen up in the sky

I asked him what Martians like to eat

He said mostly they crave something sweet

Martians eat avocados, because they are green

But too many consumed, makes them obscene

"Are all Martians green?" I had to ask

He answered yes, but some wear a mask

A Mask? Well, what's that for

Too many questions, he'd like to ignore

I asked if they have music on Mars

He said yes, but it's not from guitars

I asked him how they made their musical sound

He replied, from a musical instrument that he had found

What does it look like, I wanted to know

He described a flute, and I felt aglow

Oh play me a tune on your Martian flute

I thought for a moment that the phone had gone mute

Then all of a sudden I heard this magical sound

That touched me all over, from my head to the ground

I thanked him for playing this Martian Flute for me

As the Martian hung up, I danced away in glee

A People About A Poem

I wrote a people, about a poem

Because I was away, I wasn't home

When I'm not home, where could I be

Hanging out with birds and squirrels, in a tree

I like to bike, and ride I do

On a summer day, when skies are blue

I dance upon the white clouds, up in the sky

I hang on real tight, as they pass on by

An island trip, when it's warm outside

With birds and nature, I always confide

They listen closely, from a nearby tree

And tell me it's private, just them and me

I go to the park, and take a little walk

Lock up my bike, people love to talk

I try to listen, but I hear the birds

They sing to me, I understand not their words

It's a quiet day, but it feels so great

Peaceful and tranquil, which I appreciate

And wherever I go, wherever I roam

I write a people, about a poem

Just something a little different

A Place To Pee

Give me a place to pee

And then let me be

For if you look away

Then you can't see

What does it matter

With a weak bladder

When kidneys say go

Then you better know

Is there a restroom nearby

If not, I will cry

I need to empty soon

A fast leak like a balloon

There's got to be somewhere, that I can go

To let loose this urine, or it will blow

I need to do it so badly, to let it all out

I hope that it is soon, or I'll scream and shout

Now I can smell it, but I'm still not wet

So I'm closer to going, I'll try not to fret

If the restroom doesn't open, so that I can pee

I'll have to go quickly, behind that little tree

A little bit of humor mixed in with some truth.

As a kid, when my family went to Presque Isle,

Marquette, I had to go, and they told me to go

behind the tree. I did, and was later told as they

were laughing, that I could have picked a larger tree.

A Poem About Nothing

I've never written about Nothing, so I think that I will write

Something that is not there, in fact it's out of sight

I've written many poems about something, but Nothing's on my mind

The subjects are so varied, but right now they're hard to find

When I write a poem about Nothing, there's not much I can say

In fact when I think of it, there's Nothing to this day

Some days it's good to have Nothing, there's not a thing to do

Relaxing and peaceful, sitting back in the recliner too

I try not to think of anything, while Nothing's on my mind

Yet something always pops up, at least I am not blind

I let my mind drift, to a place that is nowhere

Where Nothing can be found, because Nobody is there

A great visit it was, to be nowhere at all

When the phone rings, and it's nobody who made the call

We talk about Nothing, and as the time passes quick

I hear the clock upon the wall, going tick tick tick

There's Nothing more that I can say, if only you believe

When your mind is blank, there is Nothing you receive

Since it is Nothing, and there can be Nothing more

Why should I continue, when it's Nothing I'm writing for

I usually write about something, so it's a nice change to

write about Nothing. There's really Nothing to it. I just

keep on writing about Nothing, and Nothing comes easily

to me.

A Wicked Soul

She’s a wicked soul, she’ll rip out your heart

She’ll grab a hold of you, and tear you apart

Yes, she’s a wicked woman and she’s on the loose

She may look beautiful, but she’s only got one tooth

She’ll weave a spell to put you under

You won’t have any time to wonder

She knows exactly what to do

To make you look like a fool

She’s not what you might expect

She’ll steal your soul while having sex

And when you try to get up

She’ll say it’s not enough

She’ll zap your strength and laugh at you

And there’s nothing that you can do

Don’t let her get too close

Or she’ll give you an overdose

Put your shield up right away

Or you won’t have a word to say

Don’t let her touch your soul

Or she’ll never let you go

She’s a wicked soul, you’ll see

And once captured, she won’t set you free

She’ll suck the essence of your soul

And keep you in a deep dark hole

Protect yourself with the Heavenly light

Envision the Angels are within your sight

Don’t let her dark power in

Or she will surely win

Just something a little different from me

Achoo!

If sneezing is all you can do

The pollen count is high, achoo!

I'll try not to sneeze on you

Eeeek! I just sneezed in my shoe

My eyes are itchy, I try to keep my hands away

But they have a mind of their own and they stay

How many hankies will I need to go through

Before these allergies go away, Achoo!

My nose is running, how far will it go

I have to stop it, is all I know

Achoo! Is what I say every day

I'm just sneezing my life away

It sure tires me all these allergies

It can start it all with a little breeze

Then along comes me and my sneeze

And it brings me to my knees

I am at the mercy of this allergy

That seems to be controlling me

I wake up sneezing, and before bedtime

I sneeze and wonder if I'm losing my mind

I know I can't be, because I can still think

Some Tea with honey, is something good to drink

Someone come and tie my hands behind me

So I don't rub when my eyes are itchy

Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!

I hope I didn't just sneeze on you

I blow my nose until it turns blue

Then it turns red until my sneezing is through

If you have allergies just like me

Then you know what it's like to be

Feeling exactly just like I do

When you're sneezing, Achoo!

The pollen count has been high lately and

I've never had allergies this bad before.

Hope it goes down again soon...Achoo!

Allergic To Myself

I went to the Doctors, to take a blood test

I didn’t study for it, but I really did my best

Hoping I passed with flying colors, the results came to be

How can this be possible, I am allergic to me

It must have happened recently, because I lived with myself for so long

How could this have happened, for this to go so wrong

I always wondered why I sneezed so much, whenever I’m alone

And why it always hurts so much, with aches in every bone

My body must have changed chemically, somewhere along the way

Because I basically look the same, I thought I was okay

But now I’m sneezing on myself, and sneezing everywhere

When I am sneezing down the street, some people like to stare

I take out my handkerchief, and cover up my nose

Then the sneezing starts, and chills go to my toes

Pretty soon I have goosebumps, on every body part

Then I cough and sneeze some more, and then I let a fart

My nose is constantly running, it’s not funny at all

Sometimes I’m so dizzy, the sneezing makes me fall

I guess I will have to live with it, whether I like it or snot

My nose is so sore from wiping it, it looks like a big red dot

I really hate this sneezing, why did it happen to me

I thought this happened to other people, this selfish allergy

My eyes are so sore, they are very red

I can’t even sleep, I sneeze myself out of bed

If there is one thing, that I know for sure

I hope that very shortly, those Doctors find a cure

Until then, I will continue sneezing, Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!

When you’re allergic to yourself, there’s nothing else you can do

Animal Quackers

She’s senile with a wicked smile
Just sit around and wait awhile
She has your data all on file
And has an insanely bizarre style

She’ll tie you up and make you cluck
Or maybe quack just like a duck
She’ll sit in front and stare at you
Maybe like a cow, she’ll make you Moo

She could have a laugh, and make you wear a wig
Or make you Oink, just like a pig
She thinks it’s all, par for the course
To saddle you up, just like a horse

If she were to have it her way
She’d get you alone, in a pile of hay
You may think that would be okay
But you have no idea how she likes to play

Be careful or she’ll go for your throat
And try she will, to sink your boat
She’ll always try to get your goat
I’ll leave it here, on this special note

Astute As A Fruit

My friend Bob said “Bud, you are plum crazy”

While other times, I'm as bananas as can be

Me, I really think that I am peachy keen

While there are times, I feel like a tangerine

Do you really think, and apple keeps the Doctor away

Or is it the pear, that really makes his day

I believe that grapes, make me feel astute

But I have sticky fingers, with an orange and a grapefruit

Or is it the berries, the straw, the blue, and the rasp

That tastes so good, when you have them in your grasp

Every now and then, I feel like a mango or a kiwi

Then there are times, when a pineapple calls to me

There is one fruit I love most, and I will name it here for you

It's the watermelon sliced thickly, followed by cantaloupe and honeydew

I believe the apricot, is a cousin to the peach

The kumquat is in the family tree, but it is out of reach

I love my fruits, they make me feel complete

And they are juicy, and they are so sweet

There are also white cranberries, and they have less tart

Another good reason to love fruit, is they are good for your heart

Be healthy, and eat the fruits you love. They're good for you.

Baby Shower

There's a Baby Shower coming, I wonder what I'll wear

I wonder if that means, they'll be landing everywhere

Falling from the sky, all the girls and the boys

All those little people, making goo goo ga ga noise

All in many sizes, falling everywhere

Many different colors, with very little hair

I hope that they'll have diapers, but if they are brand new

I would guess they wouldn't, so it'll smell P U

I hope that they land softly, as they make their fall

Then they will be able, to easily start to crawl

I wonder if they'll know, exactly where to go

Being newly born, they have yet to grow

So many questions, about this Baby Shower

Does this only happen, at a certain hour

Or does it happen, at the right time and place

Or could it also happen, far out in Outer Space

Maybe there are Baby Showers happening, across the universe

Just too many all at once, things couldn't get any worse

Those Baby Showers, would keep you on the run

I prefer the babies, to fall in drops of one

Bafflegab

It's all Bafflegab you see

Confusing words they are to me

It's just a bunch of gobbledegook

To non-Yoopers it's like wearing a chook

Mumbo Jumbo, if you are lucky

Just an assortment of Horse Pucky

Even when you use your noodle

It can be as bad as Flapdoodle

With all things you know, and all things you knew

I'd think the right word to call it, would be Gobbledegoo

You don't always get your wish

In these times it can be Jibberish

It can be small, or it can be very big

It might even be, a thingamyjig

Sometimes it can get so very sticky

To wash your hands, you'll need a Doohickey

No matter what, you hear or see

It turns out to be, just Mallarkey

You can do your best at your job

And come across, a Thingummabob

You can try your best, with all of your wit

Yet still call it what it is, a whatchamacallit

Just remember to never give up, give it a stab

You'll only find out, that it's all Bafflegab

It's interesting the words we use in place of

other words. We've come up with some doozies.

Blurp

Now, there are words, like bleep and burp

But why isn't there, such a word as Blurp

I ask you, now, it wouldn't hurt

To have a Blurp, that you could blurt

I think, and I thunk, and it makes me wonder

Some words should be used, even when we blunder

Mistakes are made, in our haste and our speed

Some words are blurted, among those that we need

It's sure bamboozling, at all the words that we use

And what's in the dictionary, and the ones we abuse

Bedazzles and razzles, and shakes our brain

Causing headaches to come, with neurology strain

I think if by accident, we happen to Blurp

Then we'd be in harmony, with all birds that chirp

When we misspell, all the words as we type

It's rather funny, and not to be tripe

For all things make sense, even words not around

Their origins start somewhere, that's when they are found

It's words that we blunder, and bleep, like the word Blurp

That grabs our attention, like the sounds of a slurp

Bump On My Bum

Bump on my bum

I am not so dumb

It may be a bump

But I'm not a lump

Makes it hard to sit

I try not to think about it

But there it is, big as can be

In a place most people can't see

A bump on the butt

Wish it was a nut

Then maybe I'd crack it open today

And I could make it go away

Oh what a pain

Drives me insane

There on my bum

A bump da de dum

I guess I shall see

How to rid it of me

Than I shall become

Free of the bump on my bum

I really don't have a bump on my bum.

I can imagine it would drive anyone

crazy with pain and discomfort. Be

careful not to get a bump on the bum

or anywhere else.

Butter On My Bread

You are the butter on my bread

You make things better inside my head

The taste, the touch, and all I feel

You hold me close and help me heal

You lighten up my heavy load

And make it easier down life's road

You make all things better with your butter

And keep me from falling in the gutter

Each time you say "I miss you"

Is butter added on my bread anew

You butter my bread, and butter me too

Making life better, with your buttery goo

Your presence each moment, adds to my soul

And each time you do, I want you to know

You are forever, the butter on my bread

Sweet creamy and soft, wherever we are lead

Death

I looked at Death, and laughed in her face

And found myself in some other place

I didn't know just where I could be

But then again, I didn't think it'd happen to me

Then she appeared, and I looked around

I was suspended far off the ground

I thought to myself, What is this?

Then she came real close, and gave me a kiss

The kiss of Death, ain't what it seems

It sure beats the one found in dreams

A surge of energy, was what I felt

I wondered what kind of kiss she dealt

Then she took me close, in her embrace

And there with Death, I was face to face

I knew that Death, was nothing to fear

As she held me tight, and I held her near

As she walked with me, to the other side

She showed me all, she had nothing to hide

It was then, right there, that I really knew

The link between Life and Death, that will embrace you

With Death so close, I wanted so much more

But she felt it was time, to close the door

I had a taste of Death, and she tasted fine

At the place between worlds, deep within my mind

Erimel

In the kingdom of Erimel, there lives such a man

Who does his very best, or does the best he can

His name is Dub, he's a knight of the word

Following him around, is a snow white dove bird

With sword held high, and pen in his hand

He rights(writes) the wrongs, throughout the land

A suit of armor, to protect him from harm

Decorating his shield is his coat of arms

Into the dark forest, his horse gallops there

Writing poetry from the heart, that he loves to share

Awakening others, to the dangers all around

To ward off the evil, wherever it is found

His journey takes him, to the kingdom's end

Where his spirit is tested, will it break or bend

He's guided others, to safe passages everywhere

And fought off the demons, with sword held in the air

Erimel is protected by the spirits that guide

And one special knight, who refuses to hide

Raise all your glasses, in a song and for a cheer

All hail Dub, for the peace that is found here

Erimel backwards is Lemire

Dub backwards is Bud

$$$ Everyone's Out For Money $$$

Everyone's out for money

And it really isn't funny

It can be a pain

This world's gone insane

Soon nothing will be free

The cost is rising quickly

Online there's even a price

Truly the fee isn't very nice

Telemarketers call for cash

I tell them they can kiss my ash

It really isn't funny at all

When I answer their call

I have enough money just to make a living

I can't make ends meet if I am giving

So I keep what little I have for me

Because nothing in this world is free

They say you have to pay the Ferryman to get to the other side

But I offered him peanuts, well at least I tried

I tell you it really isn't funny

Because everyone's out for money

The only thing that is free is love unconditionally when it is true love.

The cost of living has gone up. No free things, as everything costs something.

Companies keep calling you up to offer you a better deal. Looking for a better

deal. It's all about working harder to have more money, or taking on two jobs.

I have learned in the last few years that money isn't everything. I live daily on

as little as I make on my job. I have learned to flow with life and enjoy the little

things in life. I don't ask for much, but I give a lot. My idea of a rewarding day

is not money, but helping people and being out with nature and sharing a message

or lesson with those willing to learn from what I already know.

Money will always be needed for living, but helping others is a giving.

I am blessed to share and give, as I love and live.

Eyeball Erasers

There's many times, I wake from my dreams

And can't remember them, it seems

Maybe there's erasers on my eyeballs

Deleting memories, when eyelids rise and fall

Then there are times when I blink

Forgetting what next to say, I think

I lose things, I forget where they are

These eyeball erasers, have gone a bit too far

If I knew exactly, where they were

I could remove them, and I'd be sure

But they could be anywhere, in my eye

And if I mess around, they could make me cry

I'd like to take the eyeballs from their socket

And carry them inside my pants pocket

But then I'd find it too difficult to see

And it would stop me from writing poetry

I guess these eyeball erasers I will keep

And try my best to remember in my sleep

When the dreams, they come and go

How the heck am I to know

Facebook Drama

There's Drama on Facebook, that's nothing new

Politics and Religion, and their Point of view

Sally Sue has a new boyfriend, and Kerry and Jim have broken up

Liz bought a new Tea Pot, and she posted a picture of the cup

Did you hear what happened to Jane?

Her boyfriend had a fit and went insane

Millie posted a picture of her wedding in the park

Power went out in Seattle, many are in the dark

Moe and Mary had an argument, and aren't speaking to each other

Sue was reunited in Los Angeles, with her long lost brother

Did you see the post Joan put on her page?

Why it's just too wild, for a woman her age

People are sharing thoughts, nothing is private any more

It shows up on my news feed, and it's too hard to ignore

There's more Drama on Facebook, I wonder if it's true

Tongues are flopping constantly, and it's not from a shoe

On Facebook, people are always sharing what is happening in

their lives. Some of it may be more personal than we wish to know.

And yet, they feel the need to share it with their friends.

Opinions, truths, everyday life.

Gee, I Wonder

Did you know bees bite, from their other end

And you can’t pet an ant, just because he’s your friend

Why do skunks smell so bad, don’t they ever take a shower

And is a foxglove something a fox wears, or really a flower

If a flashlight is pointed in one ear, will the light come out the other side

And would my nose really, grow, longer if I lied

If it’s a rubber band, that’s stretching the music too far

And how can it not be a door, if it’s really ajar

Oh I don’t know, so many things puzzle me

I try to understand, and make sense of what others see

If you log on to the Internet, would you get a sliver?

Why would you be booted, is the weather fit for a shiver

Why call them microwaves, are they waving at me?

And who’s family is it, that’s in the family tree

If it’s called popcorn, what kind of pop can it be

What does it open up, if it is a monkey

I could stop and wonder, about things every day

And why they do this and that, and that would be okay

It’s things that makes us wonder, that keeps our brains alive

And gives us that special gift, and helps us all to strive

Golden Rod

Golden Rod is strongly in the air once more

Behind my eyes, in my head, making me feel sore

Why do you pick on me, Golden Rod

Making me feel sore, on all parts of my bod

Down there by the water, I didn't know that was you

In fact I didn't realize, all the things that you could do

You're nasty, and got my eyes a itching

I don't mean to be doing this bitching

There's rag weed, and so much more

Making my nose run, and my eyes sore

I take a pill for allergies, every day

Hoping they can keep, the allergies away

By the time night comes upon me

My eyes itch and water, and it's hard to see

Sometimes I'm blowing my nose so much

It gets very sore, and is hard to touch

One time there was Golden Rod, in a picture that I took

When I'm in the kitchen, I sneeze when I cook

Be careful of Golden Rod, if you have allergies

Grab a tissue or hanky, because you'll start to sneeze

I never realized all the sneezing that Golden Rod can cause.

But it could be other things around here as well that is a

combination and causing me to sneeze. Achoo! Yes, it's

that time again.

Hairy Belly Button

This may sound crazy, but it's true

Inside my belly button, some hair grew

For many years, it had been there

I was too afraid, of the news to share

Attached to cartilage, that was connected to me

And I am telling you, it was a sight to see

It was no fuzzy navel, it really was hair

And if I showed anyone, they would stare

So I kept it all to myself, never a word to say

I wondered if this, made me unique in a way

Or maybe this patch of hair, made me a freak

I never thought to find answers, I should seek

I accepted it, as being part of me

And of all, it was meant to be

I couldn't pull it out, because I tried

When I did, it made me hurt inside

It wasn't until true love, came my way

I found it came loose, on this certain day

Was this Hairy Belly Button, some sort of sign

To let me know, this love was to be mine

It was things on my mind at the time

I Can Make You Laugh

I can make you laugh, and I'll do my best

If I put on a wig, and wear my Momma's dress

If I add some lipstick, and kiss you on the face

Then you'll have the lip marks, all over the place

I can make you laugh, and have a good time

If you saw my face, after sucking on a lime

I know it would make you laugh awhile

You know I can do it, because it is my style

I can make you laugh, if you saw the way I sleep

My hair all messed up, if perhaps you'd peep

My body all twisted, all over the bed

You'd laugh so hard, your whole face would be red

I can make you laugh, if you saw me dance

Take a look at me, I love to take a chance

Moving and shaking, every way I can

Until I fall down, because I can not stand

I can make you laugh, bobbing for apples in a barrel

Or outside of a window, singing a Christmas carol

I can make you laugh, because I know what to do

To make you laugh out loud, because I'm connected to you

I Got A Call From Me

I answered the phone to see who it could be

When I looked at it, it said that it was me

How could it be possibly be me?

That's what it said on caller I.D.

I didn't leave myself a message at all

What would be the reason I would call

I am right here and only have one mind

So maybe it might have been a Spiritual sign

I know I didn't call myself, and yet it was me

The information was simply there for me to see

I tried to figure that one out

I wonder what that was all about

Phone trickery, could it be

Or spirits trying to contact me

What could it all mean

Is there something in between

Maybe you should call you

See if you can get through

If you answer, wait and see

I might get another call from me

I received a call from me today. The Caller I.D,

said my full name and phone number. It seemed

very odd to have that show up on the phone, because

that is me. That is my information and usually it shows

the people who are calling. The phone rang, I never

called me. I tried to take a picture of it, and while

I tried to focus, the phone stopped ringing and the

information faded. Could it have been phone tricks?

Or something more?

I Have Sinned, and I Loved It!

To all people, I just wanted to say

When you sin, some sins are okay

I'm not exactly sure who decides, what is a sin

They need to update their rule book, I say with a grin

I hear religious people say, they can't do it because it's a sin

If I couldn't do it, I would surely jump out of my skin

I recall one lady saying, if you watch Star Trek it's a sin

Who makes up these rules in the sin book, I just can't win

When she said Spock is the devil, I just had to laugh

She looked at me, as if she thought I was a giraffe

You can't listen to rock music, it's not good for the soul

A sin? Not sure about you, but it makes me feel more whole

Sure glad Mama gave us the choice, on what to believe

Because that sin book they wrote, sure taught to deceive

I never had need for a sin book, not at all

I have no limitations, I never built a wall

There are sins, people say, but I call them crimes

Sins were from long ago, move ahead with the times

I know I'll offend many, but my voice must be heard

The list of sins from the sin book, is really absurd

What feels okay, isn't a sin, but is really alright

Some say I sinned, but I really took flight

You know right from wrong, if you use your heart and mind

And you can move through this world, leaving the sins behind

I never cared for the word sin. And the preacher up front

talking about sins and how wrong they are. As he raises

his voice and points out at the people sitting down. I return

home and start to cry (I was a kid). I have not sinned!

We've come a long way since those days. To me, when you

have a good head that reasons and thinks and follows the

law of the heart and mind, you know right from wrong.

No need to“sin,” so no need to do anything wrong. As

humans, we will always make some mistakes. But we

learn from them. We grow from them.

We become better as humans.

I Lost My Marbles

The day I lost my marbles, I remember it well

I will share the memories, in these words that I will tell

I had my half sizer out, ready to take a shot

To make it in the hole, but I missed a lot

I knelt down, to try to shoot again

I shot, and I saw the smile upon my friend

My half sizer went in , the hole that was so deep

All that was in that hole, was all mine to keep

I felt so dirty, yet I felt so happy too

Until my friend took out a full sizer, that was colored blue

I knew this would be a challenge, if I only I could beat

I would try my very best, not to give in to defeat

My friend's luck was changing, and I was losing

The movement of the fingers, can be pretty amusing

You have to know the right angles, to make it work out right

With the right amount of power, with the hole in sight

For some reason, I had trouble with my aim

I knew it wouldn't be long, until I lost the game

We took turns flicking our fingers, and mine almost went in

I was lucky yesterday, but today I wasn't going to win

I need all my best peeries, and then I knew

I'd have to use my boulders, and my steelies too

I took one final shot, and aimed it at the hole

Watching it carefully, to see where it would roll

I had fun playing, as I looked at my empty can

That day I lost my marbles, I took it like a man

As I sat there on the ground, in the old schoolyard

I realized life would be easy, and life would be hard

All we can do, is to try our best in everything we do

Sometimes we will miss, and sometimes our aim is true

My friend Mike Derusha comes to mind when I think of

playing Marbles at the Washington Schoolyard. Although

I played marbles with many, my memory remembers him

the most when we had played. It was fun time to play, and

I remember those times with a smile on my face.

I recall that he showed me his marble collection and

wanted to get rid of them, because it was time to give

them up. I didn't like the idea, because it was fun,

but in the end, I had to do the same thing.

I Married A Baby

I married a baby, which isn't hard to do

I was so attracted, to her ga ga goo goo

I married a baby, oh yes it is true

Now changing diapers, is something new

She smiled a smile, whenever we would touch

And I love my baby, so very very much

In her eyes she carries, the story of her past

And I found myself, getting caught in them real fast

An old soul in a young body, she's had to renew

To start another journey, until it is through

Wow! Her energy is so very strong to feel

Wrapping itself around me, she's come to me to heal

It's not the marriage, of the one you know on Earth

It's the merging of two spirits, and knowing each others worth

When the energies within, intertwine as one

A soul to soul connection, has only just begun

I married a baby, which isn't hard to do

Especially when her soul, deeply touches you

She was known as cbaby, because she was born

on Christmas day. On Facebook she is my friend Patty Ann.

We always had a great chat, and my mind would imagine many things.

I Received A Call

I got a call from Detroit, why such a place

Places can not talk, they don't have a face

Some time ago, New Jersey called me too

Cleveland called me also, which is nothing new

When I received a call from Escanaba, I thought, “I'm already here”

These places that keep calling, I find it mighty queer

California called me, but I had nothing to say

They never leave a message, I guess it's just their way

What can you say, of a phone call from some place

They can not talk, because they have no face

A place is a “Where,” I want to talk to a “Who”

Yet still these places call, and I'm not sure what to do

Places I never heard of, keep on calling me

I wouldn't know what to say, to a place I couldn't see

Never been there, don't know anything at all

Stay where you are, no reason for you to call

If I got a call from Jupiter, now that's a far out place

Mars or even Venus, or elsewhere in outer space

I prefer a person, to be on the other end

Not New York or Florida, they are not a friend

It always shows up on my phone as a place. But when a

person's name shows up, then it is much better. I know

they are just scams, and cowards, for they don't like

leaving me any messages. Friends will take time to leave

me messages on my Answering machine.

I Should Marry Me

While looking back on my life, and all that came to be

I thought that it would be best, that I should marry me

Can't think of a better person, I know myself so well

And I can always blame myself, if I should go through hell

With all the different marriages, I think that it'd be fine

To love myself completely, and be my own Valentine

We'd be together forever, but never would we part

And truly we would be together, always as one heart

I'd never have to worry, of anything I've done wrong

What shows I'd be watching, or listening to what song

I wouldn't have to explain, everything I believe

Of the universal love, on all that I receive

There are many good points, on why I should marry me

I'd already have the information, for my family tree

Family and friends would already, know the bride and the groom

And at dinner time, we'd share the same fork and spoon

Oh life would be so wonderful, if I would marry me

I could go to a concert with myself, and get one in for free

Think of how great it'd be, married to me

A special bond and soul connection, interestingly

This was a time when I was giving up relationships,

and thought, who better to understand me, than me.

If I Were

If I were a Rainbow, what color would I be?

All the colors in the Universe, all that you could see

If I were the music, what song would I be?

A song that touched your soul, setting your spirit free

If I were a feeling, what is it that you'd feel?

The greatest love ever felt, of all things that are real

If I were a scent, what smell would I be?

A light touch of Lilac, flowers that came from me

If I were a tree, what kind would I be?

One with branches reaching high, for all to see

If I were a book, which one would I be?

A book that kept you reading, because of its story

If I were the weather, what would I be?

A warm and sunny day, to fill your heart with glee

If I were a photograph, what photo would I be?

A photo of your smile, because happiness is the key

If I were a door, what would you see?

An opened door to show you, all things you can be

If I were a window, what would you see?

The greatest love within, that had come from me

Just having a bit of fun here.

I'm In Love With The Squirrel

I'm saving my nuts, for a very special squirrel

Don't you know it baby, you rock my world

I'm turned on by your bushy tail, and how it effects me

Makes me want to follow you, right up that big ole tree

As you run from branch to branch, I really love your style

You got me feeling so darn good, can you see my nutty smile

Chase away the birds, I want you so bad

As we get a little squirrelly, and nutty I may add

I'm in love with you squirrel

You really rock my world

With your bushy tail

You just never fail

Pick me out a nut, and we will share

Give me just a moment, and I'll climb up there

Way up above, in the tree so very high

Cracking up a nut, I'm such a squirrelly guy

Okay, I thought this would be fun to write and read.

So I wrote it for a laugh. I really enjoy cats and dogs much better.

Ha ha ha.

In The Time Stream

As time moves around me, I'm called to the past

The present tags along, but it never seems to last

The future is ahead of me, so I take my time

I'm there before I know it, and I'm in my prime

It seems no matter where I am, I am always somewhere

In the time stream of my life, it can take me there

I can grab a moment, and I can live it out

Any time within my life, and without a doubt

I am just a child, guided by the light

I can see beyond the day, and fly through the night

I wander all around, never asking why

I take it as it comes, and I always try

There is never any time, that I haven't been to

I just show up anywhere, out of the blue

Time speeds up, and then it goes real slow

Yet wherever I am, time seems to flow

I have seen the future, and in a certain place

I've seen the wrinkles, all over my face

In the beginning, I've seen me as a kid

I saw everything, that I ever did

One thing about time, you can go anywhere

When you ride the Time Stream, it can take you there

When you're a master of time, it can take you anywhere.

Sort of like a song you enjoyed throughout your life.

Like a memory that you had in mind, and it took you there.

Johnny E-Mail

How he got his last name, I guess we'll only know

If we research his name, to see where it will go

Take it back, to where it all began

Of this surname, given to this man

Or did he change his name, somewhere along the way

So he could have one, that fit into today

He had several names to choose, why did he pick this one

And I wonder if he'll pass it, down to his son

It's possible, that the name changed in time

Or maybe was translated, to a word that could rhyme

Could have been shortened, from a longer word

But find the connection, would have us reassured

I've been a genealogist, for so many years

And saw so many changes, that brought on many jeers

Wherever his life takes him, wherever he sets sail

He'll never be deleted, for he's Johnny E-Mail

Like An Eggshell

Like an Eggshell

It was easy to tell

She was cracked

Her yolks were stacked

The yellow and white

Were in her sight

Then she took a bite

It was pure delight

Cracked like an eggshell

I was under her spell

The Yolk was on me

And she would agree

I gave her a toast

She's better than most

To soak up the running yolk

She comes from good folk

I did this for a contest at AllPoetry

about eggshells.

Listening To A Country Song

He's been listening to a Country song

One where everything goes wrong

He believes every word they sing

And the bad luck each one will bring

He believes each one is true

And he wonders what he can do

If his wife is having a fling

In that song that they sing

“Is she really out of love with me?”

“Maybe there's a song that'll hold a key”

“I need to know what I can do”

“Because now she is loving you”

Maybe she'll start loving him again

And be a wife, and a loving friend

“I hate to think, she cheats when I'm not around”

“With that cowboy who's been hanging in town”

He's living a nightmare, with each song he hears

His imaginative mind, has brought on his fears

He's got a happy marriage, and nothing's wrong

He's just been listening to a Country Song

I've been looking over titles and words to Country

songs, and so many are about cheating and leaving

and so much more. Sadness, and so much more. I

prefer a happy Country song. One that is upbeat

and makes you feel good inside. Makes you think.

And sometimes makes you want to get up and dance.

Maybe I'm Dreaming

I was attacked by a dog that look like a cat

It meowed and it barked, can you imagine that

Then it chirped and it tweeted and it flew in a tree

It's the craziest thing that ever happened to me

I saw a squirrel of rainbow, not black or not gray

It was so beautiful, as it scurried away

A bushy tail with colors of the rainbow

It touched my heart, and warmed my soul

I saw a bird, that hopped like a bunny

I know to me, it sure looked pretty funny

It chirped and it tweeted, as it hopped around

As quick as a rabbit, so fast on the ground

Oh my, what is happening to me

To distort my vision, and all that I see

Am I really seeing, all that is there

Why are my eyes, open and aware

Maybe I'm dreaming, and really awake

As I look out, at a purple colored lake

I must be crazy, and going insane

Or something I ate, messed up my brain

Oh well, I'll enjoy the colors, no matter what I see

And accept them all, for coming to me

Must have been one heck of a dream.

Nose Ring

I've noticed, many women wear a nose ring

Maybe it's to give them, a little more zing

They say it's a statement, they are saying

It's confusing to know, with what they're displaying

Does the statement they're saying, depend on the size

Is it some sort of link, that leads to another surprise

I doubt very much if it's a magical ring

But who knows what it could bring

A large ring, a small ring, right in the nose

And other places, where it possibly goes

I'm not into piercing, but it's their choice to do

It seems to be too close, to the booger goo

I've heard it's in another place, but I won't mention where

You can actually see it quite well, when they are bare

They say it heightens the pleasure, when having sex

What comes to mind is, what will they think of next

Ring on the finger, ring through the nose

I'll think I'll go without one of those

I'll settle with this plain old body of mine

It was created for pleasure, by the divine

I got the idea of this poem from seeing women

with nose rings on social media. I've noticed

it more and more as the years go on. I wonder

if they ever get their kleenex snagged on it.

Everyone has their choices on what they want

to do, and how they want to feel and look. In

this poem, I was just observing. My choice

would be going without the nose ring. I prefer

the magical ring. But then again, my imagination

has always been like that.

Passing Gas
© by Bud Lemire on Aug 15, 2009

Everyone must pass a little gas from time to time
It’s a common thing, not too strongly on your mind
Sometimes it sneaks out, and that’s okay
It has to be released, so that is the way

Sometimes it’s quiet, sometimes it’s very loud
But it’s really embarrassing when it’s done in a crowd
Sometimes it stinks, and other times there’s no smell
When it does stink, sometimes it as loud as a bell

Those who admit to never having let a fart
Don’t realize we pass gas daily, and it’s healthy and smart
One must let out the bad gas from inside
Release those bad toxins, and smile with pride

Know your body, and what you can eat
Or that bad gas will have you running on your feet
I eat the foods that my body knows
So it’s not the bad gas that usually blows

Oh sure, you are laughing at this poem about farts
But you wouldn’t be if those toxins caused sparks
You never know who’s behind you while you’re passing gas
But they’ll know it’s you when they have walked past
Smile and just say “do you smell that too?”
And walk away as if you never really knew

Farts! I hope you like this poem. Some people say it stinks!

But I say if you want it to smell okay. Shower regularly,

eat the right foods, and take care of yourself.

And don’t feel bad if you have to pass gas,

a good Fart is healthy for you. I should know,

I’ve been farting around for years.

Phlegmboyant

Phlegmboyant, yes it's true, I have too much phlegm

The goobly gook is in me, and it's no gem

I cough and cough, all I can do is cough

I'm afraid I might, just cough my head off

I cough at times, and then I can't stop

I like to be in control of m body, not doing a flip flop

My appetite is gone, I can hardly eat

No fish on Friday, I'm not as steady on my feet

Weak and tired, I just want to rest and sleep

I end up counting my coughs, instead of sheep

I woke up coughing, and tried to clear my head

I make it to the kitchen, at least I'm not dead

A drink of Ginger Ale, clears the passage way

It hits the spot, on almost any given day

I get my mind off myself, maybe a Facebook chat

Try to get a feel, to see where my body's at

I think today, I'll try some scrambled eggs

Hoping a little food, will put strength in my legs

Oh, it's no fun, when you feel so sick

I'm going to try to get better, I hope it happens quick

Of course I know everything takes time. All I can do

is to do my best to get better. Rest often, drink plenty

of fluids, eat when I can. It truly makes you realize

just how vulnerable we humans are to so many things

that are out there.

Pills

I never liked pills

They don't give me thrills

The Doctors prescribe

They mingle inside

They make me sleepy and they make me pee

Oh those pills are doing crazy things to me

I'm restless in morning and can not sleep

I hope these pills I won't have to keep

They come in all colors especially for you

So many things that they can do

They also come in many a size

Big as a horse pill is quite a surprise

Swallowing these pills isn't easy for me

I take mine with yogurt and downward they flee

Then take some water to wash them all down

Yet still these pills have me wearing a frown

Be aware of the side effects of all pills you take

If they make you sick and they make you shake

Pills are prescribed to help you out

Call your Doctor if you are in doubt

I don't really like taking pills

But when the Doctors prescribe them

what else can I do.

Be sure that they are doing what they're suppose to.

If you aren't comfortable, tell your Doctor.

Popsicle Toes

I’ve got icicle fingers, and I’ve got Popsicle toes

And something hard and grotesque, is hanging from my nose

I’m frozen everywhere, I even got snowball ears

The water from my eyeballs, have turned to crystal tears

I am so frozen, I lost feelings everywhere

The gleaming on my head, are the icicles in my hair

I feel like a refrigerator, that’s turned up too high

I can’t even move a muscle, even if I try

I feel I’m living in the ice age, although I’m really not

My brain must have frozen, there’s so much I forgot

I need to thaw out, I wish someone would defrost me

I have ice cubes, where I should have water on my knee

I’m sure if we kissed, we’d be stuck together

Maybe that would be the best part, of this ice cold weather

Or possibly your kiss, would melt away this ice

Now that’s a warm thought, that would feel so nice

Maybe if you can give me a warm hug, I wouldn’t be so chili

Even my kidney beans are frozen, it’s too hard to pee

You must really be hot, you’re thawing every body part

I guess it’s to be expected, with your warm warm heart

I’m so glad you warmed me, I’ll invite you to my igloo

I’m an Escanaba Eskymo, I owe a warm thanks to you

It gets quite cold here, this time of the year

How about another warm hug, I’m so glad you are here

Rainbow Eyes

She had Rainbow Eyes

She wore no disguise

The colors so bright

Her eyes took flight

The greenest of green

She'd always be seen

The bluest of blue

Than I ever knew

The red was there

I was quite aware

Of the purple that was shown

That had set the tone

Those Rainbow Eyes gazed

I watched and was amazed

All the color was there

And that was quite a pair

She looked at me

I knew she could see

Right into my soul

She made me feel whole

All the colors of the Rainbow

showed in her eyes. Believe me

when she touched me, it was

a pleasant surprise.

Say Achoo!

I know, I know, you already knew

It's that time again, to say Achoo

Itchy eyes, making it hard to resist

I sneeze and blow, and that's not the twist

My nose keeps running, and it's hard to breathe

Just as I'm getting comfortable, I start to sneeze

We won't talk about the state of my hair

When I sneeze, it flies everywhere

I lost my appetite once, had chicken broth instead

I could be Rudolph, because my nose is so red

I call them Hellergies, because you sure go through Hell

But after that I'll need a nap, because it suits me well

What's all that stuff doing in the air

I sneeze and sneeze, and then start to swear

Those allergies, won't give me a break

My nose runs more, with each breath I take

I know there's many remedies, to help us get through

It didn't work for me, but it might work for you

An allergy pill, and maybe it will go away

But it always comes back, the very next day

Let's sneeze together in harmony, and then blow our nose

And shiver our timbers, right down to our toes

I sneeze so strongly, and then let a fart

I think my body, is falling apart

Red eyes that itch, sneezing, running nose, congestion, hard

to breathe. Yep, it's allergy time again. Seems like it zaps

all my energy.

Snafu

Who am I, who are you

I am in a state of snafu

What is this, what is that

Running into things, blind as a bat

What I can, and can not see

Buzzing in my head, like a bumblebee

Dizzy, just going to fall down

Until this world stops moving around

What is it that I can do

Confusion teamed up with snafu

I win or I lose

Mixed up crazy news

One step forward, two steps back

How am I really suppose to act

Turned around, and inside out

Am I going north, or is it south

If only you knew

As I do, Snafu!

Sour Turkey

I threw up the Turkey, but it wasn't bad

In fact it was the best Turkey that I ever had

Cranberry Sauce and dressing all came up for me

All mixed together, so easily

Then came the dessert, oh that Pumpkin pie

I held onto the toilet, I thought I would die

She said come on over and try this dressing

I had a good taste, but my bowels were pressing

There wasn't any doubt

How long could I hold out

This wasn't what Thanksgiving was about

I just wanted to puke and then shout

Just as I thought, I was done puking for awhile

I spoke too soon, because up came more bile

It was so awful, what could I do

I still had some Turkey that I couldn't chew

The Thanksgiving meal didn't sit well on my tummy

My head kept on bobbing like I was a dummy

In front of the toilet, I unloaded onto my friend

Wishing that this Thanksgiving would come to an end

A Thanksgiving gone bad.

Speshal Okaysion

It was a Speshal Okaysion

She knew about purrswayshin

I dint no how two spell

An averywon culd tell

She new exzactly wot to dew

Awl the feelinz came thru

She had me wear she wanted me

So I wrote more poet tree

She kizzed me on the lipz

It was the taste of sour cream chipz

I new mor waz to be

I buzzed around for all to see

Hur hands touched my back

She pulled me in with a sensual attack

I felt her hold me tight

She surrounded me with her light

I tried my best to spell

But darn it I couldn't tell

She knew about purrswaysion

It was a Speshal Okaysion

Anutter poem for my baby, Vicki

Tennis Elbow

They say I have Tennis Elbow, but I never played Tennis before

I can tell you one thing, my arm sure is sore

It feels like a snake bit me, and that snake is still there

Constant pain down my arm, as for pain, I've had my share

I went to see my Doctor, she sent me to therapy

Now I am exercising, and putting ice on me

I wonder if I'll have to eat Elbow Macaroni too

I wonder how long it'll take, before I'm through

I can feel that pain in the back of my shoulder

With that ice that I'm using, it sure is colder

They gave me a list of things I'm suppose to do

I never played Tennis, at least not that I knew

People have told me, you can get it from many things

Life and its activities, and whatever it brings

Maybe I took too many pictures, and now I'm paying the price

Or played too many games, where I was throwing the dice

I thought I did this, while asleep one night

Woke up and felt pain, like someone beat me in a fight

Or maybe while grocery shopping, my heavy backpack did this to me

Whatever the case, I wish to set this pain free

Not really sure how I got this. It's been told many people get this.

So now I'm dealing with it. I can still do most things I do, and I am

keeping the pain under control. I just need to learn to rest often,

and keep following what the therapists are telling me. The pain

seems to be lessening to some degree, so it must be working.

Anyone for Tennis? Forget it, I'm taking up Ping Pong.

The Bugaboo

Be careful where you go, be careful what you do

For there is something out there, known as the Bugaboo
Ugly and so scary, hiding behind your door
Maybe inside the closet, or crawling on the floor

Could be hiding, underneath your bed
Or waiting outside, by the tool shed
Down some dark alley, waiting just for you
To play upon your darkest fears, it is the Bugaboo

Creeping in the bathroom, for you to take a pee
To scare you half to death, and bring you to your knee
Or maybe when you're eating, it'll sneak up behind
And try to drive you crazy, by messing with your mind

You'll find reality fading, as you go cuckoo
As you're taken in, by the Bugaboo
So watch your step, lightly on your tippy toes
Hiding in the shadows, where everybody goes

You can lock your doors, but it's no big deal
It can come through any crevice, or through any seal
My advice to you, is to not let fear get the best of you
Or you'll surely be a victim, of The Bugaboo

The Day I Shrunk

The day I shrunk so very small

No one could see me at all

They looked for me everywhere

But it seemed I vanished into thin air

It wasn't any fun for me

The toilet was to big for me to pee

I was so tiny to the human eye

They thought that I had gone bye bye

They didn't think to look on the floor

I was so small, easy for them to ignore

How could I get them to see me there

It was even too hard to get in a chair

The cats thought I was just a toy

And as I ran they seemed to enjoy

With their paws they clawed at me

And they just wouldn't let me be

I tried to hide but they could smell

Even with me small they sure could tell

No matter where I found to hide

They always found me although I tried

Maybe they thought I was a people cracker on the run

To add to their lives some extra fun

Then things got dark and very wet

I had the feeling I was inside our pet

So many hairballs way down here

In the stomach, oh my, oh dear

I wonder how I will get out

Nobody will hear me if I shout

All at once the inside rocks

I am out...in the kitty litter box

I hid behind a great big cat turd

Listening closely to sounds I heard

I am safe from them at last

But I need BIG answers very fast

All at once it came to me

Think very hard and it will be

I blinked and opened up my eyes

And those big cats were tiny in size

I laughed and was so happy to be

Back to the size that's normal for me

The Sandwitch

She's a dirty lady, they call her the sandwitch

With a little mayo, she's less of a bitch

Casting spells, that will blow your mind

And as you pass her by, she'll pinch your behind

She knows exactly, how to use her spell

To make your life, feel like a living hell

Water to the sand, here's mud in your eye

Coffee doesn't taste too good, to the witch's guy

Her castle is located, on top of a sand dune

She rides her magic cactus, instead of a broom

The tumbleweeds blow, as she passes by

In the desert air, where the sandwitch will fly

Two slices of bread, mayo and the meat

Cactus needles enter skin, underneath her seat

No pain for this lady, dirty as the sand

Who doesn't even shower, no wonder she has no man

Captives of this lady, know her ways too well

In the dungeons of her place, where their spirits dwell

Oh that lady on the cactus, sure is a bitch

Maybe that's why they call her, The Sandwitch

The Sty

I woke up one day with a sty

On the eyelid of my left eye

A sty! A sty! Oh my! Oh my!

I had to ask, "Oh why? Oh why?"

I'm much too brave to want to cry

Yet still I wondered, why a sty?

With hot water to rid it, I did try

The contents released, my sty went dry

And there upon the lid of my eye

Is what remains of that one sty

All I wanted was to say goodbye

To rid myself and let it die

"Oh why," I cry, "have I got this sty?"

I tell the truth, I never lie

Why is this bump upon my eye

That people refer to as a sty

I will laugh instead of cry

For life is funny, and we must comply

To do our best, and always try

Despite the growth, known as the sty

The Who Flung Flu

I can tell you something, about the Who Flung Flu

It'll take your strength, right away from you

It'll leave you tied up, right there in your bed

And will do some nasty things, right inside your head

I can tell you, I didn't know who flung what

And I found myself, landing on my butt

It had me so weak, that I had to sleep

And I got so mad, at this Who Flung Creep

I did my very best, to fight my way back

Yet my feet seemed as though they were out of whack

So I flung this flu, high up in my room

When it landed, I swept it with a broom

Just when I thought it was over and was done

The Flu Flung back to have some more fun

I asked Soo Sung, what is it I should do

And she sang a song, that made the Who Flung blue

It was so funny, that I turned blue too

So Soo Sung sang another song, one that I knew

This one lifted the flu from my very soul

And she flung this flu into the popcorn bowl

We covered it quickly, and dashed it to the chute

And down it went, just like some rotten fruit

Soo Sung sang me such a wonderful tune

As I sat there smiling, by the light of the moon

Those Moving Planets

The planets are traveling around the moon

And we as people are all out of tune

It doesn't matter who you are

Confusing emotions will make things bizarre

Strange feelings are making you say

Things you normally wouldn't any other day

Clouding your thoughts, making it hard to think

Feels like you're in quicksand, ready to sink

Help! Help! This is not me

Why won't those planets let me be

Mars, why can't you behave yourself please

Saturn, you're making me feel I have a disease

Venus, your beauty is wonderful, but please make it end

Jupiter help me, I thought you were my friend

Uranus be good, be like the moon

Insanity is rising in the note of Neptune

Pluto please show us of your worth

You Planets are causing chaos on Earth

The planets are moving on a collision course

To play with your emotions, with an invisible force

There's nowhere to hide, it's in the air

The Universe will find you everywhere

Many have believed that the location of the planets

effect us and our behavior on Earth. It plays with

our emotions and how we act and react to things and events.

It effects the weather, and the electricity, and so much more.

I'm not one to keep checking on where the planets are and how

they effect us. I do know that now and then when Mercury has

gone retrograde, or one planet is closer to us, people start acting

unlike their normal selves. This happens all year around. This

year things have been really bizarre between the planets and the

weather and how it effects us.

Tight As A Drum

It made me feel tight as a drum

Just like a kick in the bum

A piano with the wrong key

Didn't strike a chord with me

It was a guitar picker

That was a really bad kicker

It was a fiddling sound

With a head in the ground

It was a saxophone

That made you want to moan

It was a down and nasty flute

That you just wanted on mute

It was a piccolo

That you didn't want to know

The worst noise ever heard

It scared all the birds

Unfinished Poem

This is my unfinished poem

Took it to work, then took it home

Tried thinking of words, nothing came out

So for me it's unfinished, do you even doubt?

Waiting For Love

Here I sit, waiting for love to arrive

To enlighten my spirit, and make me feel alive

For loneliness and sadness, are my company here

In my soul there is pain, in my eye there's a tear

Everyone has priorities, that always come first

And I know things will get better, before they get worse

But for now, I must make my spirit whole

For I know in this life, I have a special role

I will keep busy, and let the days go by

And do my best to carry on, do my best to try

I'll sort through my past, as the future moves ahead

And make some changes, and sew where I'm lead

In the hopes of the day, when my love does arrive

To make me feel much better, so I can feel alive

My history of people making promises of love, and

never showing up to prove their love. Loss of my

Mother, and saying goodbye to my Family Home.

This was my “I will go on” and “I will survive”

poem. Sometimes writing about something can

give you strength, after releasing it from your mind.

What I See

I was attacked by a dog that looked like a cat

It meowed and it barked, can you imagine that

Then it chirped and tweeted, and flew into a tree

It's the craziest thing, I ever did see

I saw a squirrel of rainbow, not gray

So beautiful as it scurried away

A bushy tail, with colors of the rainbow

To touch my heart, and warm my soul

I saw a bird, that hopped like a bunny

I know to me, it sure looked pretty funny

It chirped and it tweeted as it hopped around

As quick as a rabbit, so fast on the ground

Oh my, what is happening to me

To distort my vision, and all that I see

Am I really seeing all that is there

And why are my eyes open and aware

Maybe I'm dreaming and need to be awake

As I look out at a purple colored lake

I must be crazy, or going insane

Maybe something I ate, messed up my brain

Oh well, I'll enjoy the colors no matter what I see

And accept them all for coming to me

Within Myself Is Me

Within myself is me

Who else could I be

For I could not be you

Oh if you only knew

Oh yes, there is the pain

Followed by the rain

But yes, I see the sun

And it keeps me on the run

Within myself is me

My spirit is what you see

I spread love far and wide

Many times I have cried

I help those who need me

So that they can see

There are answers for all

You can get up, when you fall

Within myself is me

Who else could I be

You can't be me too

So you can only be you

What a joy it is for you to know

You take yourself with you wherever you go

You've traveled life's journey so very far

The light of your spirit, shines like a star

Within myself is me

Who else could I be

For you can't be me too

So love yourself for being you

Within myself is me, and

within yourself is you

You Can't Get There From Here

People have told me, "You can't get there from here"

Then how will I get there, oh my, oh gosh, oh dear

You can take the side roads, but still can not get there

I wonder if there is a way, to get there from here

I look at a map, but it doesn't help at all

I wonder if there's someone, that I could call

There must be a way to get there from here

But I am still waiting for the answer to be clear

Maybe like a helicopter or plane, I could take to air

And fly to that place, and it would take me there

Or could I take a horse, and gallop in instead

Maybe wander off the path, going where I'm lead

There must be some way, I'll find it soon I know

To get to that place, where I want to go

Maybe I could dig a hole, and it would take me there

Getting down and dirty, I wonder should I dare

There must be a way, I'll find it if I look

Maybe the solution, is found within a book

I can't recall why, I wanted to get there from here

Am I losing my memory, I hope not I do fear

Oh well, I guess I'll stay right where I am at

Pondering the question "Is it this or that?"

Bud's Poetry By Category

Monday, December 25, 2023

Humor

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