Bud's Poetry By Category: Hurt (Feelings)

Hurt (Feelings)

In this chapter, it is all about unsure love, unsure feelings, feeling hurt. Some of the negative feelings we have. Feelings that make us wonder why it had to happen. I didn't like having these feelings, but I had to write them down to have some sort of release. As a poet, I have learned to write down whatever is on my mind.

Cry In The Night (2007)

Dark Skinned Woman (2000)

Dear God (2004)

Dec 1, 2001 (2001)

Divided By Love (2002)

Don't Cry To Me (2006)

Formal Relationship (2003)

Heartbeats (1994)

Hearts On The Line (2001)

If I Passed (2004)

I'll Always Return (2017)

Jealousy (2017)

Life's Distractions (2005)

Love Renewal (2011)

Never Give Up (2013)

No Response (2002)

No Way! (2007)

On Your Plate (2007)

One Heart Away (2013)

Playing The Game (2006)

Prisoner Of Negative Thoughts (2001)

Scars (2004)

Searching For Yourself (2004)

Shakened Soul (2004)

Snakes In The Grass (2000)

So That She Can Heal (2007)

Somewhere To Be (2002)

The Gift Of Love (2001)

The Personality (2004)

The Queen Of Hearts (2005)

Their Love Conquered Time (2006)

This Dark Hole (2016)

This Heart Of Mine (2019)

Watered Down Love (2004)

Without The Doubt (2012)

Without You Here (2013)

Your Abuse (2009)

Your Disappearance (2006)

Cry In The Night

I heard a strong cry in the night
I got up from my chair, looked towards the light
I looked straight into a mirror
I saw a saddened face, and a falling tear

I held a sword, and waved it around
I pierced her soul, inside it was found
I didn’t know I had swung it her way
Now her pain is also mine, every day

Our love was broken, because of my careless act
So I must live alone in this dirty old shack
With mice falling from the ceiling, upon me
And the bed is the only place, that is safe to be

My heart light has burnt out
Angry at myself, I want to shout
This is not what love is about
It should be known, without any doubt

Questions wander within her head
While part of me remains dead
I ask for guidance, for I am lost
I’m paying the price, at a higher cost

Please take away the pain I feel
Help me to carry on, help me to heal
I threw that sword away as well
While my life remains, a living hell

Dark Skinned Woman

Oh where is my lover, with the dark skin

From a city in Ohio, for me, she did sing

Has she gone back in her TeePee, never to be found

Leaving me without music, for I don’t hear a sound

Has she left me for another, I need to know

For my heart is so heavy, and I’m feeling low

Is she sharing her Wigwam, with someone she calls true

Oh tell me, oh tell me, what’s happened to you

Have you given me love, are you an Indian-Giver

And taken it back, leaving me with a cold shiver

Has your path taken your elsewhere, can it be so

Or are you yet a child, still needing to grow

I thought you were my soul-mate, where did we go wrong

Why does it feel, like I can’t hear your song

Has the negative forces, lead you astray

And darkened your soul, taking you away

Has something else happened, making you lose touch like this

Are more important matters, at the top of your list

Am I just another head, on your great Totem pole

To make you feel better, to make you feel whole

Are you too busy, to contact your Medicine Man

I was there for you, now what is your plan

Will I only know you, by words and by voice

Because I can’t picture you, you left me no choice

Where is your heart, and where is your mind

Are you true to me, or have I missed a sign

Are you still singing, my Cherokee Lass

Or has all we’ve had, all come to pass

Oh tell me, oh tell me, what’s happened to you

I want to know what is going on, and what you will do

I can’t send you a message, all connections are blocked

You hold the key, to the doors that are locked

The Spirit World is watching, what will you do

Will you do the right thing, by coming through

Or will you continue, on the path you did choose

Because if you do, one of us will lose

Dear God

Dear God, I Need Your Guidance

I don’t know what brought me back here

Is there a reason I should be here?

Is there a place here for me?

My friends and family welcomed me back

It was wonderful to know how much they missed me

But is this the place I belong?

You must have brought me here for a reason

Everything has changed around here

Nothing feels quite the same

I am restless and insecure where I am

Friends comfort me with their spiritual presence

I know I have inner strength, but I feel so weak

My future is unknown to me

I had journeyed somewhere, only to find I lost someone

This happened before, why does this keep happening?

Is this the pain I must suffer before every new beginning?

Am I meant to be physically alone in this life?

Does someone here need my help?

Is someone close going to pass soon?

Am I going to pass soon?

My eyes don’t see the same as they once did

Have I come here to confront all my fears?

Am I here to stay, or is this temporary?

Is this where I fit in?

I know some of you don’t want me to be sad.

But these are some questions that have been going on in my mind lately,

and I had to share my thoughts, despite how they come across.

I hope you understand. This is not my usual kind of words.

No rhyme, just straight from the soul.

These were my thoughts after the Washington years. Things got much better.

Dec 1^st 2001

Oh where, oh where can my love be, on this December day

When she said we would be married, is she on her way?

She said on this day, she had to be out of there

What kinds of problems, does my lover bear?

Has the weather caused her to be late, and slowed her down?

How soon will it be before the Angel sees her Clown?

Why do I fear some troubles has come to be

I have the shakes again, they're all over me

I'm worried that once again, our love won't be together

Until she can get through the problems of bad weather

Her connections are weak and so far away

When will she come here, and make it our special day?

She must be strong, and not let anything stop her from me

So that we can share our love, to complete our destiny

How deep does our love have to be, before she comes here

When will I be able to see her, and know she is near

Only she alone can win over all that gets in her way

So we can be together for our wedding day

For Christmas time is coming, and will be here soon

And all by myself, will be a lonesome tune

I waited and waited for Kristina, and it seemed

there was always some sort of problem that came

up that prevented her from being here. I wonder

if the plan was to never be here.

Divided By Love

Love can be painful, with every choice you decide

When the love that you give, is one you must divide

Decisions made, and a life path I must choose

And someone will get more, the other a spiritual bruise

I ask God for forgiveness, of the choices that I make

When they both feel right, but only one I can take

The sadness I feel, for the cause of one's pain

And the shared memories, deep within my brain

I ask forgiveness of the one, I hurt with promises never kept

The final decision wasn't easy, many times I have wept

My life is for helping others, it's what I do the best

I feel the pain I caused, and it makes it hard to rest

Life can be confusing, and hard to understand

When dreams are tossed into the air, and in a black hole they land

It seems the spirits know, the choice that is the best

And bring on hard decisions, and put us to the test

It is the greater of the two, the one that I must choose

And take each step with caution, and understand the clues

I give my love freely, to those who come my way

In hopes that my healing presence, brightens up their day

I know that we are guided, by the Angels up above

To carry on life's journey, when we're Divided By Love

Life's decisions aren't always the easiest. There is always

someone who gets hurt in each decision. Yet, because it

is our life, we must choose the one that will benefit us

the most at the time we are choosing.

Don't Cry To Me

I don’t need you when I’ve got myself

Never once did you try to help

At the end, when our spirits meet

You’ll see a soul who never gave in to defeat

When abandoned by love, he carried on

Down every path, the road he was upon

You made your decision, but were too weak to tell

Don’t cry to me, when your life becomes hell

For we can not go backwards, so forward we must

The past remains history, gone with the trust

You said a lot, with words that were unsaid

So don’t cry to me, when you’re alone in your bed

You deceived me, thinking I’d never know

But you can’t hide the truth from the soul

The spirits have spoken, they know what you’ve done

As for me, a new life’s adventure has begun

I’m not looking back anymore

Not feeling pain, and not feeling sore

When you feel sad of what couldn’t be

It was your choice, so Don’t Cry To Me

I needed to express my feelings.

Release all the poison that these

women shot into me with their lies.

Formal Relationship

You say I must be crazy, of all things I do not know

And think I've gone overboard, with things I share and show

I share my feelings freely, my life and all my love

Just like everyone else, I'm guided from above

Yes it's true, there's more to me than you believe

And there's many things, that I keep up my sleeve

I don't ask you to believe, exactly as I do

My life's experiences, are not the same for you

I share my life's story freely, not to hear what I've done wrong

Just to have you listen, and take part in my song

You hardly even know me, so don't you hold a grudge

Accept me as I am, and let God be the judge

Beliefs have caused conflicts, in all lands that I know

But truthfully through my life, the spirits helped me grow

I came to understand, that we all have the gift

And if we open up to it, we all will get a lift

But many fear the unknown, and opening up to feel

That there are many things, that seem so unreal

I will tell you here and now, I have felt the gift

And shared my love with many, inside the spiritual rift

I could go on, and never convince one who's deaf and blind

To all the spiritual gifts inside, one must have an open mind

You can go on in your life, believing as you do

I'll take pride in who I am, and a Formal Relationship with you

Heartbeats

With Valentines Day coming, who can I send this poem to?

A friendly face came to mind, Rita, it was you

But recently, from you I did not hear

Because of this, I shed a lonesome tear

I know I need not worry, you have not forgot

Still I have this aching, in a certain spot

I wish we'd get together, but I guess I'll have to wait

Special friendships can't be rushed, We just opened the gate

Yet my soul cries a bitter song, longing to be near

Because of this, I shed a lonesome tear

Nice people come and go, some are always around

But special people like you, are nowhere to be found

Suddenly my life, had taken on new light

It was your presence, making me feel right

What good are you to me, if I'm lost here in the dark

Among a forest of Owls, when I long for the Meadow Lark

Why do I torture myself, am I losing my mind?

Because I miss you terribly, you always seemed so kind

I can't make you like me, it's your call

If upon deaf ears, my poems they do fall

If you aren't interested, that's what it's going to be

I'll go on with my life. Simply being me

This is about Rita, a girl I met at Elmer's while I

waited for a Taxi. We started chatting and I was

taken in with her. We got together a time or two.

Hearts On The Line

Why do you doubt my words, when I say “I Love You”

Do you doubt yourself, or wonder if it's true

Because it's off the Internet, you think it's not real

All I know, from our time together, is how I feel

I've been hurt before, when I put my heart on the line

I gathered my strength, and got through it just fine

It's hard to ignore the feelings, when they are there

I thought you'd feel the same, you had a lot to share

Are you afraid of this love, for being too deep

Or afraid that it's a love, you won't be able to keep

You'll never know, if you don't take a chance

By taking the step, and having this dance

I'm not promising you won't get hurt, life is that way

But our love could be the sunshine that you need every day

If it doesn't work, we could still be friends

As long as we know, our love never ends

You log on, and seek me out to be here

Now that you know how I feel, isn't it clear

Maybe I should have kept all my feelings to myself

But I'm not one, to keep my heart and soul on the shelf

Distance may keep us apart, I've counted every mile

In my mind, so far away, I can picture your smile

But the wires, have connected us together

I'm happy being with you, in any kind of weather

So hold me, and be by my side

Dance with me, and take the ride

And I will whisper in your ear

Words of love, for a friend who is dear

One of my early online romances that I

was hoping to be more

If I Passed

If I passed away tomorrow

Would you find yourself in sorrow

Wishing you had spent more time with me

Life is much too brief

Some things you just can't keep

Before you know it time has slipped away

Precious are the moments we share

The bond we have to always care

How can you spend it looking elsewhere

You say you're looking for who you are

Time for yourself under every star

Remember while you're searching I may be gone

I don't mean I will go away

And I am true so I won't stray

But loneliness may be my only friend

When life is over and I'm not here

Remember as you wipe away your tear

I only wanted more time to hold you closer

I'll Always Return

There are words to say, and I must

In return, you need to understand and trust

Even though sometimes, I will go away

I love the time, spent with each day

I don't do things, so you'll be hurt

I'll never bury you, in the dirt

The negative that surfaces, comes from you

You must hold tight, to our love so true

Our love together, is the greatest thing

It makes me want to dance, and sing

Instead of “where have you been?” or “You didn't spend that time with me”

You should already know, that with you is where I want to be

I love the adventures we go on, in every book

It takes us so far away, gives us another outlook

In reality, you need to realize

That I try my best, when I hear your cries

I know it's not easy, in that place

I understand, so I give you space

You should do the same, and understand

When our moment comes, it'll be more grand

Nobody is in control, when it comes to you and I

It should always be that way, until we die

I hope in your heart, that you will learn

I love you so very much, I'll always return

Vicki, I love you so very much. Whenever things don't work

out your way, you get hurt and turn away. You know I always

make time for you, when I can. I have done my best. You also

have to remember, that someone else takes your time away from

me. I understand that, and never pressure you on that. My time

away, isn't long, and I always return, and always will, to you. I

Love you so very much. So, don't sulk in the time we didn't

spend together, instead, look forward to and plan the next time

we will enjoy our time together.

Jealousy

When Jealousy has touched your heart

Hatred blossoms and plays its part

Soon, you will be believing

Darkness enters, so deceiving

What's all this hatred for

Why did you open that door

It was suppose to be love, all along

You stabbed a heart, and you were wrong

It embraced a heart so true

I know what it has done to you

You let it in, so let it free

For this jealous heart, is no part of me

Twist the truth, take the blame

Release this poison, from which it came

This ugly mask, that you have worn

Has ripped, and stabbed, and has torn

How did this ever come to be

That you could cause such misery

I hope some day, that you will see

Beyond the veil, of your jealousy

Jealousy is hatred that consumes you,

and makes it hard to think clearly. It

wraps around your heart and distorts

the love you feel, causing only pain.

Get the facts right, know that it will

only hurt you in the end. Don't let

jealousy win.

Life's Distractions

I know you're out there

Keeping yourself busy somewhere

I just wanted to let you know

My thoughts are with you everywhere you go

I know life can keep you busy

And it's keeping you away from me

But I know our souls are still very close

And stronger, our love is the most

I hope you know my thoughts go your way

Wishing you the best of each and every day

When the sun is shining down on you

It's my thoughts that are coming through

Warming you up, so you know it is I

Who will always help your days go by

Special friends, caught up in life's distractions

Connected souls, knowing the right reactions

I can feel you out there

And just wanted to share

A loving thought for you to hold

To keep you warm when the nights are cold

This is for someone I haven't heard from in awhile

Love Renewal

I can't say goodbye, but I'll say hello again

What we have, we'll always be more than a friend

We've both been through changes, this you must know

I'll love you forever, wherever you go

I've done nothing wrong, except spend less time with you

I blame it on what each of us have been through

If you see something worse, you aren't seeing right

Because I'm being guided by the Heavenly light

I want to spend more time with you, if you say so

But not if you keep cutting me down, I won't feel low

I will not sink to be less than I am

For I always try to be the best that I can

On equal terms, I'll meet with you

Any other way, just won't do

Simple and plain, is what it'll be

Just the two of us, you and me

You see life isn't always easy I know

But through all the hard times, you grow

Sharing what you learn with all those you meet

So they can prevail over pain without defeat

I appreciate friends for their value to me

But the thing is this, that you should see

My love for you is much higher above

It's a deeper and stronger kind of a love

I love you Linda! I'm sorry I haven't spent as much time as I should have. But don't keep blaming me for not being there for you. I have my own issues and I'm dealing with them. Our love should come together naturally and easily. It should be lovingly, and not anything else. No blame games, and nothing else. Love should be.....LOVE! By the way, Happy Anniversary Baby! Thanks for the best 5 years ever! Sorry you had to go through so much pain.

Never Give Up

Never give up hope on what will be

Because in this life you'll always have me

No thank you for setting me free

I believe our love has a greater destiny

Together is where we belong

We both know I'm not wrong

Patience is the key

Of all that will be

Follow your heart, listen to your soul

Deep inside, the answers, you'll know

I believe you already do

You know what is right for you

I am already free

You still need to be

Without freedom you can't be the true you

And can't do the things you love to do

Take a break to clear your head

But without you I'd be better off dead

I can't live without you, never

Our love is to be, forever

By the link of the soul

With a thought I'll be there

To guide you and love you, Always

No Response

There is no response, but your name is there

Why won't you answer, don't you even care

I long to be with you, and I care for you so

Don't you see me, I am feeling so low

I sent many messages, straight from my heart

Now I feel you're ignoring me, I'm falling apart

My emotions are scattered, I want to cry

Why won't you respond, please tell me why

I came here, because I long deeply for you

I told you many times, I thought that you knew

I thought our feelings, were one and the same

What is this you're playing some sort of game

We've shared special moments, I gave you so much

Now I feel so abandoned, that you don't want to touch

My heart, it has stopped, as I wait for your reply

Or maybe I'm already dead, or already did die

There is no response, but your name is there

Why won't you answer, don't you even care

I want you to know, that I've always loved you

So I'll keep on waiting until your message comes through

Waiting for a response was hard on the heart, but I've come

a long way since then. I am more patient than ever before.

No Way!

She’s so caught up in her own frustration, she doesn’t know
Just how much, I love her so
It seems that I just can’t get through
No matter what I say, no matter what I do

She use to love, everything I did
Now her soul, she’s gone and hid
Behind the wall, she hides again
I’ve been demoted, to being a distant friend

Just as we were getting closer, she move away
And it’s both of our souls, that are going to pay
I never thought it would happen, I thought “No Way!”
Yet she’s avoiding me, each and everyday

Just when you think everything is fine
You find out, that you’ve really been blind
What you thought you felt and saw
Was really a cat with a sharpened claw

Tearing your soul out, scratching out your heart
And it’s this feeling, that keeps us both apart
Bleeding heart and emotional soul
Where is the one that I use to know

At any moment, on any day
You’ll be saying, “What?! No Way!”
Sometimes life just gets too insane
And the love once felt, brings only pain

On Your Plate

It seems you always have so much on your plate
And it makes me wonder, how long do I have to wait
We’ve each been up, we’ve each been down
But I wonder, when you gonna come around

You’re always in the deepest part of my soul
You follow me wherever I go
How long before you’re mine to hold?
Because time is making me grow old

When will I get your best
This must be part of life’s test
You always seem to know what’s happening to me
Like an Angel, you’re guiding me spiritually

We have a connection that’s hard to explain
Sometimes the sun, sometimes the rain
There’s a deep bond of love I have for you
And there isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do

When am I going to feel your touch?
So my body can feel your love, and how much
For we each can search for love and never find
A love that’s as strong as our kind

So come feel me, let me know your embrace
Let me see your eyes sparkle, and the smile on your face
Let me give it to you straight
When will I be the one On Your Plate?

One Heart Away

You told me not to cry

That it wasn't goodbye

You would always be with me

I would feel but wouldn't see

You said we would meet again in time

Your heart would always beat next to mine

Our souls would be together every night

All day and when I turned off the light

You said I'd never sleep alone

Where I live is also your home

Although our time together is not yet to be

Your love would always be for me

I spent a lonely night thinking of you

I wonder what you're thinking too

I'm feeling you throughout the day

I hope that you are doing okay

I know often with me, I feel your soul

I long for your voice to make me whole

I need your love, I'm feeling low

I just needed you to know

Our souls are one, One Heart Away

Another one written while you were in the Hospital.

Wondering where you were and hoping you were doing okay.

Vicki, I love you so very much.

Playing The Game

You thought yourself smart, playing the game

Using me, and putting me as the one to blame

It made me realize, we'll never be the same

And your loss, will be my gain

Too many people, think life is a game

Thinking they'll get ahead, if only they aim

How wrong can they be

Will they ever see?

When you use others, to get ahead

You're taking more steps backward instead

You may think it's fine, possibly okay

But you can't tell me, there's not another way

For what is done to others, comes back to you

Some call it Karma, and I believe it is true

I believe that when we, cause others pain

Our souls experience it, when we leave the Earthly plane

When I let good feelings, flow from me to you

It's based on all the love, and it's all true

But if you give me false hope, and keep playing the game

You don't deserve my love, because we're not the same

This was back in 2006 when someone was playing a game

with me. Using me, and not being fair. Of course I knew

it, and put an end to it. I've learned my lessons in life,and

have learned so much about people, and how to be treated

the right way. Since then, I've had some really wonderful

people come into my life.

Prisoner Of Negative Thoughts

What are these negative thoughts, that pass all through me

Let them show themselves, so I can set them free

This is not me, to be this way at all

It's like I am standing, and ready to fall

And I hurt myself, and those I love most

Oh please, negative forces, find another host

For I don't need sadness, so don't stick around

And I can't move freely, if I'm on the ground

I am a prisoner, of these forces that bind

And I feel they have, taken over my mind

I want to be set free, to spread my love everywhere

Because that's who I am, I love to share

I pray every night, that this feeling goes away

And still find those teardrops, coming every day

Oh, come, take these negatives waves

Release me from these cold dark caves

For I love to laugh always, and my love is true

And I don't like this feeling because of what I do

This is not me, I'm not like this at all

I'm sending a prayer, please hear my call

Give me my love back, so I can be whole again

For I love everyone, and happiness was my friend

Guide me to the love, of your wonderful light

And make all my errors, from wrong into right

I am not sure what happened. How can love be

so wonderful one moment, and a nightmare the

next. I am stuck in a place in my mind where I

don't want to be. Depressed and sadder than

I've ever been. Help me break free!

Scars

Two people who once had shared a heart

Find the love once there, broken all apart

Actions not taken, deed gone undone

Who is to blame for this, not anyone

Those are the thoughts that many may think

But changes come quickly when you blink

Things you could have done before

Unfinished business knocking at your door

Children taken from their rightful place

Torn apart with new things they must face

Come together, to right a wrong

To the place where they all belong

Lifestyles to rearrange

In a place that seems so strange

Something wrong was done to me

Why do bad things have to be

Crying Uncle, and Popsicle tears

Scars to heal, and many fears

Help me through, in my journey ahead

Angels light my way, in the darkness that I tread

I wrote this a little over a month before Wanda

told me she didn't love me any more. Odd, that

I wrote this poem, not ever knowing what was about

to happen.

Searching For Yourself

You say you're searching for yourself

Well, honey dear, so is everybody else

Tell me what will you do when you find you

Will you disbelieve that it is you

And start your search anew

Looking for someone you wish to be

Why can't you just accept you for you

And love yourself just as much as I do

Instead of thinking you're not worthy of my love

Let me tell you I love you so

What can I do to let you know

So you can stop searching for the other you

I'll hold you in my arms so tight

And kiss your lips with all my might

But then again, that wouldn't be me

Shakened Soul

I have within, a shakened soul

It doesn't seem to feel quite whole

I feel so low and empty inside

If not for fear, I'd think suicide

Oh guide me, to the rightful place

Take away the frown upon my face

For the past I lived, has so much pain

And now I fear I will go insane

You've taken away my friends and home

And taken my pride, and left me all alone

Am I really as bad, as some people say

To make two souls, go their separate way

You said I didn't try hard enough

I was too soft and I needed to be tough

I let you inside, to see in my shell

Now life has become, a life of hell

During and sometime following my

separation from my wife, I was in a

dark place. I wasn't sure how I was

going to shake it. I know the new

beginning I had, helped a whole lot.

I moved forward and never looked back.

Snakes In The Grass

I thought all this time, that our love was true

But I guess, that I never really knew you

I thought the lies that had started

Were long gone and had departed

We were miles apart, and bad weather all around

The snakes were in between us, crawling on the ground

Always something keeping us apart, when I thought everything was great

And when love is true, I should have never had to wait

Was it the people in your life, that kept us apart

Or was it just a game, you played with my heart

The phone calls and the chats, they seemed so real

Or were you the shoe, and I was the heel

I thought my soul knew you, I felt everything

I guess I was wrong, you've found someone else's wing

You could have been truthful, you're a coward and a fake

And I send all we had, to the bottom of the lake

For you aren't the special person,I have come to know

You've betrayed me, and stepped right on my toe

But what you do to others, comes back onto you

You'll be living nightmares, because of all you do

There are poisonous snakes, they are found everywhere

People sick and evil, and I will be aware

I've encountered many, but some of them are true

I hope someday you feel the pain, when one of them bites you

What I want to know, is were you the victim or the snake

You will sleep forever, in the bed that you make

Once a liar, always a liar

Feeding the flames of Hell's fire

One night, someone paged me in a private chat

to tell me that someone hasn't been nice to me.

He said, there's a snake in the grass.

Normally I wouldn't believe anyone, but

these spiritual friends, usually knew something

So That She Can Heal

Please heal this woman’s soul

Make her complete, make her whole

For I have hurt the one I love

Until she’s healed, it’s all I think of

You see, she came to me not long ago

She gave so much love to my soul

She’s been within, the deeper part

Now there is pain, inside my heart

I ask that she be sent healing energy

Let her know it’s true love from me

When she hurts, let me feel her pain

Until it stops, let my tears fall like rain

Show her why she feels so betrayed

Give me courage not to be afraid

Guide me to know what is everything

Open me up to what the spirits bring

Forgive me for all the pain I brought

Help me know wisdom for my every thought

Let her know that my love for her is real

Send her my love, so that she can heal

This one is for Linda. At the beginning as we got

acquainted, sometimes words didn't always

come across the way they should.

One of us always got hurt.

Somewhere To Be

Is there somewhere I should be, or something I should know

Is there something I should do, or somewhere I should go

Many have given me advice, but it doesn't seem to fit me

I'm looking for the answers, so that I can see

Some say to take my time, others say not to wait

I go at my own pace, bordering on the calming state

I do my share of worrying, every day and night

But I know I'm being guided, by God's shining light

I will share my love with others, and do my very best

To take on every challenge, and take on every test

Some days seem so dark, I can hardly move at all

Other days are so bright, I am fast and on the ball

On this journey I am on, is this the place where I belong?

Let God's shining light, always show me right from wrong

I know I will carry on, with every breath I take

For only I can take my steps, with every move I make

Is there somewhere I should be, or something I should know

Is there something I should do, or somewhere I should go

Many have given me advice, but some of them are wrong

To carry out my destiny, I must listen to my own song

Mom had just passed and my siblings were pressuring me

to do something. I was still grieving and didn't know what

to do. They wanted me to get a better job, and to find another

home. I didn't know where to look, as I had lived in this home

for 38 years. It was a very sad and confusing time in my life.

The Devious One

She’s the one with the devious smile

She’ll stab you once, and it’ll sting for a long while

It’ll pierce your soul

You’ll question everything you know

She’ll touch you so deep

She’ll make you feel weak

Then off she will go

Taking part of your soul

She doesn’t care

If it hurts you everywhere

What matters to this one

Is that the damage is done

She’s the devious one, two faced and blue

Ready to cause misery for you

She wears a grin, and her cut is very swift

Making you bleed gives her a lift

For you’re her man on the side

A dessert that was never tried

She’ll get back to you when she can

But no hurry, she already has a main course man

First my wife cheated on me and kept things from me,

and then an online lover did. When will I learn?

When will I ever find someone who is true and is better than these women?

The Fast Lane

I'm just a turtle, in the fast lane

Trying to pick up the pace, to keep myself sane

Spent too much time, with my head inside my shell

Until the one called the Hare, made my life a living Hell

Out of the shell popped my head, and I looked around

Then out came my feet, as I placed them on the ground

The Hare didn't count on me having all my wits

While her own brain, is where she still sits

While she sat there on her brain, with a smile on her face

I kept moving along, and was going to win the race

While she sat wasting time, and letting love go by

I was giving life my best, not giving up without a try

What she didn't count on, was me

My soul was much stronger, when it was free

No restraints to hold me back, I can soar for all I can be

While she searches for life's answers, I hold the key

While my spirit carries me on, she sits on her butterflies

All doors before me are open, while her doors are all shut

She'll learn all her lessons in life, while I have won the race

I'm a turtle in the fast lane, with a smile on my face

Just looking back on a marriage that ended, and giving myself

a little boost to feel better about myself. I wrote this at a time

when I was feeling pretty low, and grabbed at anything to write

this poem. Fast forward into the future, if I was to look back and

write this poem again, it would be completely different, because

my views on life and what happened, I see things differently now.

The Gift Of Love

I send this Gift Of Love to you

To let you know, my feelings are true

And to say I'm sorry, for saying hurtful things

I just want our love, to take off on Heavenly wings

I know I've been pushy, and my words aren't right

But all I ever wanted, was to hold you real tight

To be held by you, and to feel your embrace

And to feel your love, as we're face to face

To hear you sing, and to hear you talk

To hold your hand, as we go for a walk

To do anything and everything, and do it with you

Because the gift of your love, always comes through

I feel I can't take it, when we're apart

There's a kind of darkness, inside of my heart

It takes your love, to bring me to the light

Stopping negative thoughts, from winning the fight

Your love wins over these thoughts, because our bond is deep

But that hurt that I caused you, still makes me weep

Because I don't want to hurt you, or cause you pain

When I do that, I feel that I've gone insane

But it's just understanding, words that I say

And why do I say them, I hate feeling that way

I send this GIFT OF LOVE with a love that is true

Because Kristina, I'm so in love with you

Yes, this one was for Kristina

The Honeymoon Is Over

I guess the honeymoon is done

Because it sure isn't any fun

You still look at me

But love's not what you see

So I moved far away

Didn't want to stay

With someone like you

Who made me feel blue

You gave me what I needed

Then took it away

You gave me what I wanted

What more can I say

Separate ways, I'm not looking back

Foolishness, is just how you act

You gave up, when you let me go

But you were the one, who didn't grow

Yes, another one about Wanda and our marriage ending

The Personality

She came along to love me, but what she couldn’t see

She tried to change a part of me, my personality

Some things can be changed, for the better in the end

With bad habits twisted out of shape, they will surely bend

You can not mold someone, when they know where they belong

To be someone you want them to be, that would be so wrong

Their likes and dislikes, and their beliefs are their soul

Acceptance is the key word, of everything you know

So you don’t like what they watch, or the music they listen to

But they’re just being who they are, they surely can’t be you

Don’t keep your expectations, up so very high

No one will ever meet them, you’ll always wonder why

Too many people come along, to change someone they know

Without even knowing, acceptance is when you grow

Appreciating the personality, for all it is and all it has become

Is where you’ll find the greatest love, flowing to and from

Yes, another one about Wanda

The Queen Of Hearts

As I sit alone, I think of a Queen

Someone to love, a shoulder to lean

Someone who's heart is for me

But outside my window, it's too foggy to see

I've felt the spirits of love

And prayed to the spirits above

Wondering when the time will be right

For me to be embraced by the light

Many times the burning in my soul is too much

When I yearn for someone's gentle touch

Maybe she's closer than I realize

How I long to look into her eyes

And tell her how much I love her ways

These wishes are dreams that come in my days

This Princess has touched me very deep

Yet my card trail has made me weep

Will she come to me and be my Queen

Will she appear before me and be seen

So I can hold her forever more

Or will she be forever a ghost in my soul's core

I miss her when she's not around

When she disappears and can't be found

I feel right now I'm a total wreck

And as if I'm not playing with a full deck

Their Love Conquered Time

She knew how to disappear

Without words, everything became unclear

How was she ever to know

That he'd never find out she had to go

The messages should have been sent

Oh where was it that she went

Not a message, not even a word

Nothing was seen, nothing was heard

She had been called to go further away

"But everything was going to be okay"

That is what the spirits said

But the time apart turned to dread

Has he found somebody new

"No, he's still in love with you"

Why hasn't she called, this isn't like her

"Don't rule out anything, until you're sure"

She had to leave, so she left fast

The days came, and the days passed

She told her Mom to call him with info

Mom said someone answered whom she didn't know

Three weeks later upon her return

No messages arrived, she was to learn

She was informed, by a cousin who was like a Dad

She had to call him, he must be feeling sad

When she got him on the phone

She didn't mean to leave him, all alone

The messages she sent never got through

"I hope you know, I'll never give up on you"

The sadness in his heart, started to melt

And a warm wave of her love, was what he felt

He knew once again, their love conquered time

"This beautiful woman, would always be mine"

This Dark Hole

Where did the love go

I really want to know

I am lost in this sadness

Wandering around in this madness

I wander around with this heavy heart

Many days I don't even know where to start

What happened to my smile

You know, I could sleep awhile

I gave my all, I have nothing more to give

My battery is on low, and it's no way to live

It's been years since I've been in this dark hole

My heart is broken, I'm depending on my soul

All I know, is that I was trying

Now all I'm doing is crying

Help me find myself here

I'm consumed by so much fear

Give me strength to succeed

I shall follow where you lead

Shine your healing light on me

Take away this depression, set me free

The pain is too much for me to bear

Bring me to a better place, anywhere!

Sometimes we find ourselves in a place

nobody should be at. I was there before.

But in the moment you are there, it feels

so very dark and hopeless, that you can't

seem to see any light at all.

This Heart Of Mine

I've been traveling here, a long time

Feeling things, with this heart of mine

Not sure what's happening, or what will be

Just hoping that love, will be good to me

I gave it my all, what else could I do

There were many things, that I never knew

Now I am wandering, in some distant place

A long ago time, and I keep my pace

I wonder for me, what's in this year

Heart broken promises, only brings on more fear

I have many friends, yet I walk alone

Each day that passes, my heart becomes stone

How did it all, turn to this

Everything that happened, all gone amiss

Yet the journey I traveled, lead me each day

I tried every moment, to find a better way

Even though my heart is lonely, with all I think of

I know someday again, I will search for love

For now I'll love myself, and it'll help me through

As I carry on, doing what only I can do

For many of us, love ends with a broken heart. We say

that's the end of love for us. But deep inside us, we find

the strength to go on. And one day, without us even

looking, love finds us. We travel together awhile and

enjoy each others company in a wonderful way. When

you come to the crossroads, you throw a few rocks at

each other and head in different directions.

Watered-Down Love

I don't need any of that Watered-Down Love, that's been going around

When "I love you," comes easily, and no deep feelings are found

The words "love," should be switched to "like"

Without true emotional backup, they're just playing with your psyche

When they say one word, but don't mean it completely

And the relationship, becomes more of a mystery

Words that are missing, are the feelings to back them up

Watered-down love, not made of the really good stuff

When their words of love, fall down to your feet

It's more like walking on broken glass, and not a human treat

Do your research well, to know exactly what they mean

Are they making you feel, like a complete human being

Is their love, making your whole body feel

Sensations so strong, it seems likely unreal

Or does the word "love," just reach your ear

Then it's Watered-Down Love, that you have here

Without The Doubt

This is what love is all about

It's having trust without the doubt

It's knowing that the love is true

Without the doubt that comes to you

Feel the love, you must know

Senses felt, wherever you go

Deep inside, you know what's right

Embrace the love, within the light

The past is gone, but you are not

You also had one, in case you forgot

We can't judge others on their past

People change and times don't last

The words he said were long ago

Another time, and now you know

His journey took him far away

And he's the man you know today

So don't let the doubt in

Keep up with the loving

When you leave it to your soul

Then your being will be whole

Without You Here

What will I do without you here

Our dream has crumbled with a tear

I'll miss you when you leave

For you I shall always grieve

I gave my best of all love can be

I only wished you'd be with me

But fear has got a hold on you

Faith in our love can not get through

What will I do without your love

Just think of you so far above

An Angel I once knew

What shall I ever do

If you must leave, it will be so

If it's your desire, then just go

Already I'm so dead inside

I'm losing my Island bride

I guess I'll go explore

Maybe open another door

I had the greatest love from you

You were someone I felt I always knew

I loved you with all my might

If it's your time to go into the light

I wish you well as you cross

Please say hello to the boss

Thank you for all the best love I ever had.

I hope your continued soul journey brings

you many treasures to enrich your soul.

Your Abuse

You screwed her into the ground

And you wonder why she doesn't make a sound

Well, she knows she's not right for you

So now she is going away too

To someone who will treat her right

Someone who sees her inner light

You don't see the woman I see

So this woman you were blind to, is for me

I will treat her far better than you ever did

For you see, you were being such a bossy kid

You didn't give her the freedom, that every woman needs

So this beautiful flower, doesn't belong among the weeds

Your badgering and rudeness is so very wrong

The way you treat her, she doesn't feel she belongs

So she's found someone who will give her much more

More than anything you could buy in any store

Your abuse to her, has driven her away

Your ignorance means you're going to have to pay

For all the wrongs, all will turn out to be right

When you find she's with her lover, in the light

When Linda's husband wasn't treating her very

good.

Your Disappearance

Your disappearance is out of place

No sign of you, we can not touch base

I try to understand the words you say

But your absence here has me baffled each day

I thought our love was very strong

I hate to think that I was wrong

People don't disappear without a word

But not once throughout this week, have I heard

It was to be our special time together

Don't make up excuses that it was bad weather

Everything you've said seemed to ring true

I have to step back, maybe I don't know you

Maybe all this time, you were just a dream

That I helped create, or it would seem

Maybe I wanted to believe, but they were just lies

And I thought all this time, you had grown wise

If you love someone, you always let them know

When you go away, and you just say so

You don't just step back, and disappear

And cause all this worrying, and all this fear

I'm sick and tired of long distance romance

And this felt so true, it was our second chance

On what I should do next, I haven't a clue

Should I end this now, or wait for you?

Life, there's always a lesson to be learned

Bud's Poetry By Category

Monday, December 25, 2023

Hurt (Feelings)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Poetry Intro and Index

Report Abuse